Before Tweeting Climate Science from a Government Twitter Account…

Install a sturdy deadbolt on your office door. Lock it. Google: “Apartments in Montreal.”

Remember that awesome scene in “The Shawshank Redemption” when Tim Robbins’ character locks the warden out of his office, then proceeds to play opera really loudly until the guards kick the door in? Did you love that scene? Well, get ready to experience a real-life version of it.

Google: “How much is bail?”

Think about the soft, lavender-scented hands of Mike Pence on your shoulders as he murmurs that you’ve been very bad.

Prepare your jokes in advance about tiny hands, bad hair, orange spray-tans, and creeping fascism. You’ll probably have time to Tweet one or two before someone yanks the cord out of the Wi-Fi router.

Come up with a cool name and description for the “rouge” science Twitter account you’ll launch after they eject you from the building. Suggestion: “I’m the Walter White of Carbon Emissions.”

Email twenty years of invaluable scientific data to your personal email.